Forty-something & fabulous!

I recently read an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow in which she mulls over how much she changed when she turned 40. A successful business woman and doting mum, she talks about finding focus and wisdom and says ‘At 40 my life changed so much. I think every woman around that time gets this massive software upgrade. You’re just different. You’re upgraded.

When I think back to two years ago and how I felt when I turned 40 I can come up with a whole long list of words. But nowhere on that list would you find the word ‘upgraded’. Shell shocked – yes. Knackered – absolutely. Dazed and incompetent – most definitely. But upgraded? Somebody hit ctrl, alt & delete!

You see for me, turning 40, although granted a milestone and cause for celebration, was somewhat overshadowed by the arrival of my wonderful daughter and the huge life-change of becoming a mum for the first time. I didn’t find focus and wisdom. I found nappies and nipple cream and if I was really lucky the time to scrape a flannel under my armpits and spray some dry shampoo into my hair.

My actual 40th birthday party passed me by in a bit of a blur. It was a scorchingly hot day (Summer. We had an actual summer) and I felt like a highly emotional and overheated whale with nothing to wear. Ella chose to scream rather than nap, and I spent most of the day worrying about her and praying that Demis Rusos wouldn’t call and demand to have his kaftan back (you’d also have to be over the age of 40 to get that one.)

It’s fair to say that 40 (pretty much the whole year, not just the day) was all a bit of daze. A gloriously happy daze I must add, but I was most definitely off the ball way more than I was on it. Becoming a mum had plunged me into an alien world where chaos reigned supreme and somedays I quite literally felt like I didn’t know my arse from my elbow. Not a software upgrade in sight.

41 has registered slightly higher on the compus mentis scale (hurrah) and in the last few months I feel like I may almost be firing on all cylinders again. Now that Ella has become more independent, I actually have time to think rather than just do. Having the time to ponder life, the universe and everything as opposed to just wondering ‘how the hell have I forgotten to wash Mr O’s work trousers again’ and ‘what the fuck are we going to have for dinner tonight’ is a pretty wonderful thing!

So as I celebrate my 42nd birthday tomorrow, I feel hopeful that I might receive (as well as boatload of fabulous presents, obviously) my ever so slightly overdue upgrade. I’m ready for it now. I’m ready to find my super-woman, super-cool, super-focused ‘inner Gwynnie’!

I don’t expect to ever be completely free from days where I fuck-up on the laundry front and end up frantically blow-drying my sports bra before I go to work. Or moments where I find yesterday’s knickers stuck halfway down the leg of my jeans (Gywneth – does this happen to you often, love?)

But now that the new-mummy fog has lifted I think it’s high time that I find that fabulous forty-something focus and wisdom. So Happy Upgrade to me! (Now where do I click to start the download…..???)

Hot Pink Wellingtons

11 thoughts on “Forty-something & fabulous!

  • July 12, 2016 at 7:24 pm
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    Love this!!! Very honest and funny! Happy Birthday for tomorrow and can’t wait to hear how the upgrade goes 😉 xx

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    • July 19, 2016 at 5:48 pm
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      I’ll be sure to keep you posted but I’m hoping my new radiant glow will be unmissable. *falls off of sofa laughing*

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  • July 13, 2016 at 9:40 am
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    Mr O, I’ve now got 3 pairs of work trouser to such eventualities 😄 Happy upgrade babe xxx

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  • July 13, 2016 at 11:30 am
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    I think Gwynnie had a few nannies! I can’t believe it was the macrobiotic diet!

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    • July 19, 2016 at 5:46 pm
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      Hahaha she seems way too happy to have existed for all this time on raw veg!!! 😉

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  • August 19, 2016 at 11:16 am
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    I love this- I felt exactly the same but was at that stage at 30 so have had time to recover now! We put so much pressure on ourselves but every year that goes by you look back and think why did I worry so much, why am I worrying so much and why don’t I stop- haha see the problem does not go away! I was 43 last week and my youngest is 12 so I have no excuses for the fog and Gwyneth’s book is on the kitchen shelf but it has hardly been looked at…just getting my specs out now! 🙂

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    • August 19, 2016 at 8:54 pm
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      Haha funny you say that Lou I was just thinking earlier ‘hmmmm really need to get my eyes tested’ 😂 I’m relying on you now for age-updates as you’re just that teeny bit ahead of me. Expecting a new post from your shortly about the awesomeness of being 43 please 😉

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  • September 24, 2016 at 7:55 pm
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    Happy birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day and are feeling fully upgraded now! I relate completely to feeling that the first year as a mum is just a blur – I feel like I just lost myself for a while there in a haze of sleep deprivation. I’ve rediscovered the makeup and bought some new clothes and I’m feeling much more human these days 🙂 Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

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    • September 26, 2016 at 5:45 pm
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      Ahh there’s nothing like new clothes to make you feel human again 🙂 x

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  • September 27, 2016 at 1:46 pm
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    Happy Birthday! I definitely lost myself from having children. Last week I went shopping for the autumn and I have tried to get myself out of the mummy clothes and back into what I used to wear, it felt good! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

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    • October 6, 2016 at 8:51 am
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      You can’t beat a little mini-makeover! 😉 x

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